I would have never considered myself a control freak. I’ve spent a number of years simply flying by the seat of my pants. (isn’t that what most mothers of 4 children have to do?) Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t. It’s not been until the last few years, I’ve discovered my flaw. It’s just been recently I decided to do something about it.
I fell in love with the sport of Reining when I saw a young man at our County Fair complete a Reining pattern on his horse. I quickly began researching what exactly it was and how the rider navigated their horse through the different patterns. I loved the fact that there was speed, horsemanship, and that everything was very under control. There was an art to it and I wanted to learn to paint the picture. The horse and rider moved together like a paint brush moves over its canvas. The picture was beautiful and classy. I wanted nothing more than to be the painter. I wanted to create that beautiful picture for myself. The National Reining Horse Assoc. handbook describes Reining as; “To rein a horse is not only to guide him, but also to control his every movement. The best reined horse should be willingly guided or controlled with little to no resistance and dictated to completely.” I quickly learned that in order for me to paint the masterpiece, I had to become good at controlling my horse’s every movement. I was to dictate to him completely. (can you see where I’m going with this…) Soon this spilled over to other areas of my life and I soon found myself angry and upset when I felt someone wasn’t listening or if I made a plan and it didn’t work out. It wasn’t until I really started riding in that discipline that I discovered how much I wanted to control and I didn’t want to let go. When my riding took on more speed I didn’t want to let go of my horse. When I walked in the show pen, I couldn’t let go of all the negative comments I’d heard about myself growing up. When I asked for help I struggled with letting go of feelings of stupidity and insecurity. Reining has taught me so much about myself and has certainly helped me become the person I strive daily to be. But perhaps the largest lesson it has taught me is that being in control means learning to let go.
In this time of learning to slow down and live in the moment, I have to continue to let go of the weight that holds me back. I think each day those weights can be different. Some days I dwell on the past. Some times I’m anxious for the future. Other times it can things I worry about like how will my kids turn out? Who is saying what about me? Did I make the right decision? Am I doing the right thing? I’m learning that all of those questions, doubts, and weights just keep me from being free to live in the moment and truly enjoy life. I’m learning to take a deep breath and let it all go! It’s amazing how when I stop and focus on the moment, nothing else really matters.
You know~when it comes right down to it, the greatest feeling in the world is letting go and letting God. After all, he’s the one who knows how this whole this is going to turn out! It’s not my job to be in control. It’s His. And when I let go and let God, my life takes on a whole new look. My heart isn’t heavy and my mind is quiet. I don’t fret about tomorrow or feel guilty about the past. I am 100% free to live in the NOW!
Today I’d like for you to:
1.) Jot down the things in your life you like to control.
2.) Take time to notice how many of the things lists you really have no control over. Put a * or a star by them.
3.) Take the list you just made, crumple it up in your hands real tight. Now find a trash can and throw it away. As you drop the crumpled up list in the trash can, let it all go…..close your eyes and let it all go…..
If you participated in today’s challenge, I’d love to hear from you! Tell me how you felt after letting go of the list! 🙂