My Fear of Disappointing God

How many times have you dropped the ball? Maybe it wasn’t acutually a ball….if you’re like me maybe it yelling at your kids, or being so angry with your husband. Maybe is riding into the show pen and tanking a ride. Or perhaps it was a ball… eposide in your life that you repeat over and over in your mind, wishing all the while that you would have reacted differently. Wondering if you’d just done A, how your life would be different.

God is NOT surprised by our mistakes. He doesn’t love us less, and while we stuggle with forgiving ourselves and getting past certain things, God never does. He promised that “If we confess our sin, he is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and cleanse us from all unrightousness.” 1 John 1:9 He also tells us that “…as far as the east is from the west, so he has removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12. It’s not our job to hold onto mistakes. We are supposed to turn them over to God and LEAVE them with him.

I grew up in a First Assembly of God church. My father was a decon, my mother taught every Sunday School class known to man. We were in church on Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. My mother read devotions to us every morning before school at the breakfast table. When I was 19 I got pregnant and I wasn’t married. If I could put into words the pain I have carried around for the past 20 years, maybe you could understand. I love my daughter very much and I can’t imagine my life without her, but it’s been a long road. There are days I feel like it’s in the past-over and done. But don’t think for one second that Satin doesn’t use it against me. Don’t think he doesn’t whisper in my ear, “You’re not worthy to tell other people about Christ”, “Look what you did! You’re trash.” “You’re not good enough to serve God”. I could type on and on about the whispers from the enemy I hear because of a mistake. Over the years I’ve learned, however, that when those whispers begin, I just whisper back-“Yes, look at her. She is the greatest mistake I’ve ever made.” And she is! Was God surprised? No….I happen to believe that he planned her life. Had I not made that “mistake” how would my life look different today? I don’t know. And I don’t care. God has blessed me with a wonderful husband that loves my daughter like his own, and has since she was 2 years old. What Satin intended for harm, God used for good.Lexi  Andy Sr. Pics 084

What mistake have you made that haunts you? I know it’s hard for us to wrap our minds around a love that would forgive even our greatest mistake. It’s hard to really understand why God would continue to love us when we’ve messed up so bad. But Ladies and Gentleman…. HE DOES!

I’d like to encourage you today to find some quiet time and just spend it with the Lord. Talk to him about your mistake(s) and let go. I promise-the peace that will flood your soul will be incredible. Just as we’ve been instructed to forgive others, we must also learn to forgive ourselves……

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9 Responses to My Fear of Disappointing God

  1. This was an awesome chapter, I love this book. My fears literally stop me from doing the things I KNOW I am supposed to do. I hear a lot of those same whispers from Satan as well. For me its living with a husband who can sometimes be so loving and compassionate to being angry, verbally and emotionally abusive and just says the meanest things under his breath (for 10 years I’ve heard how lazy, and unloving or I don’t respect him). I realize how much I need God on a daily basis but everyday I put him last on my list then feel so much guilt because I did that, yet he still loves me and made me for his purpose. What has been really eye opening for me is the posts that have been coming up on my Facebook page the past 2 days. Almost all of them have been about God making us for his purpose and that he loves us no matter what and that belong to him no matter what someone says or does to us. The last week, since starting this book, my Facebook has also been bombarded with posts regarding fear, worry and anxiety, God is definitely speaking to me and I just want to say Thank you for this study.

  2. Jennifer~Thank you for your comment! God is speaking to you! Don’t doubt it. Just press in closer and listen for his still small voice…..bless you Girl! 🙂

  3. Pat says:

    God’s Word holds rank over self-criticism and self-doubt. Sometimes, it is hard for me not to put God in a box and limit his abilities. I mean, isn’t that what we do, when we determine what he will and will not forgive? I know I don’t always live up to my abilities. I have self-doubt either through fear or just plain laziness, sometimes I don’t want to put myself to the test for fear of not being as good as I think I am. Sometimes the mind is willing but the body is not!

  4. kareneklund says:

    Lisa. I feel like the best witnesses for Jesus are the ones of us that have had a forgiven past and haven’t lived life perfectly. I feel like the mistakes we’ve made in our past helps people realize that God truly does love us even when we’re not all cleaned up and perfect, and it gives them hope for a great future. Our mistakes in the past make us credible witnesses for our futures and to show others they can have that great future too. What a fabulous gift your dear daughter is! How very brave you are to share with us. You are a huge blessing to us! Thank you for being real with us! Romans 8:28 says “And we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” That means ALL things – so that would mean even our mistakes!

    I’m so grateful to have such a great bunch of ladies to learn with. What a blessing!

    • Karen, thank you for your comment. It’s never easy to share such personal information, but if helps one person, one girl, one lady struggling-then it’s worth it. I can’t thank god enough for what he’s done in my life! And I’m so glad he gave me a family and horses to help me through!

  5. kay says:

    I am enjoying this book so much, its really created some self reflection that was most likely very needed. I think we all have things from our past that we would do over if possible. I know I sure do! I’ve always taught my kids that a mistake is an opportunity to learn from. I know mine have sure strengthened my faith in God and assured me that he’s with me thru whatever life may bring.

    I don’t think we should regret our mistakes, without them we wouldn’t be who we are, know what we know, or feel as we do. I know everything that happens is in Gods plan for us, but I still question why sometimes. We recently lost a close friend, and yes that is one I still question as to why. Hopefully one day the lesson from that loss will come to me.

    God bless to all 🙂

  6. Sheila says:

    I have found this book to be very interesting. I love it. Yes I found this chapter to be extermely good. It made me reflect on areas I had “dropped the ball” I am grateful to God each and every day for giving me his grace and allowing me to hold my shoulders square and look people in the eye once again. I used to be under the impression I had deserved all the mean cruel things that were going on in my life, due to the fact God was done with me. I had used up all the get out of jail free cards. LOL but then something changed in me and I got clean and sober and amazagingly I was able to feel God love and grace again. Now that I have done more studying of the Bible and have a better understanding of his love. I understand I was the one stopping him from entering my life he was always there waiting for me to open the door. Go figure.

    I have been able to share these teachings with my young adult children as they go through their lives. They ask mom how do you know things will be ok? How do you not stress over this or that… It is because I know God has a plan and I just have to get out of the way and left him do is work in my life and it will happen.
    I used to always feel “less than” because I never took the scholarships I was offered in high school to go to college. It wasn’t until the last couple of years that I understand that fear had held me back to take the big step. It took me a while to realize if I had been closer to God at that time in my life, I may have not been so fearful. Lesson learned!!
    Looking forward to the next chaper

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